Killers Review: Hitmen And Miss


killers300x210KILLERS (12A): On General Release From Friday 18th June

I could tell by the exectionally unimaginative poster that this was going to be another boring Katherine Heigl movie. It shows her holding a gun and looking blonde, buxom and brainless while Ashton Kutcher does his best impersonation of a gormless fish.

I’m afraid to say that the movie lived up to these very low expectations. The plot started out in beautiful Nice where recently single Jen (Heigl) is on holiday with her mum and dad (Catherine O’Hara and Tom Selleck). She runs into Spencer (Kutcher) who’s handsome and charming with a body to die for, but there’s one problem – he’s a hitman.

Crazy and hilarious madcap comedy ensues with equally exotic locales, exciting chases and wild romances. At least that’s what I would have seen if I’d left the screening, gone home and watched something else all together.

The plot is dull, meadering and ultimately implodes into nothingness, so you might be wondering why I’ve given it 1 and a half stars. Well, that half star is purely for Tom Selleck’s excellent moustache and the full star is for the supporting characters. Family Guy’s Alex Borstein pops up as a perky neighbour, SNL’s Casey Wilson as Heigl’s friend and Usher makes an appearance as a store assistant. OK, only Usher was a bizarre addition but at least it made the scene moderately interesting.

Heigl’s schtick as the irritating blonde girlfriend is poor and for someone who complained about the female roles in Knocked Up, she’s not doing herself any favours doing this. She needs to try some dramatic roles before she gets the reputation as a movie killer – she should fire her agent ASAP. Ashton Kutcher’s hitman who wants a suburban life is endlessly boring – apparently the writers forgot to give him any character traits.

Killers is bland, pretty humourless. It’s a bad sign when the best thing about a movie is someone’s facial hair.