Movie Sequels? You’re Having A Graph

Are sequels ever actually any good? With the announcement that Terminator 5 might finally go into production, the release of a third Big Momma’s movie and rumblings of remakes left right and centre, let’s end the debate with some statistical proof.

1. LETHAL WEAPON (1987-1998)

lethalwep100Lethal Weapon is the buddy movie – Riggs and Murtaugh are probably one of the best onscreen partnerships in cinema. But the series went on, it started to become more whimsical and less hard hitting until finally in 1998, Riggs and Murtaugh proved they really were too old for this shit.

2. STAR WARS (1977 -2005)

Starwars100Everyone knows that Empire is better than the other two in the original trilogy we’re not going to argue that point. But it’s funny to see the series fell off a cliff with Phantom Menace before desperately scrambling to make up lost ground in parts II and III.

3. TERMINATOR (1984-2009)

T2100The first two Terminators were brilliant and made an icon of Arnie and the hardest on screen female lead since Ellen Ripley in Sarah Connor. But their real asset was James Cameron whose direction assured their place as cinema greats.

Terminator 3 marked Cameron’s departure and the whole series started to cave in. Termintor 4 saw a world class franchise handed over to the director of the Charlie’s Angels movies. Say no more.


4. INDIANA JONES (1981-2008)

indiana100After three cracking movies, George Lucas decided that he needed more money for his palace of gold in 2008 and resurrected an aging Indie, pairing him with the charisma blackhole that is Shia LaBeouf. The results speak for themselves.

5. THE CROW (1994-2005)

crowpromo100There’s only one good Crow movie and it’s the first – Brandon Lee’s last on screen performance and a cult classic. Everything else has been a cynical attempt to cash in and universally appalling, culminating in Wicked Prayer’s enviable 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. A reboot is in the works…


6. TOY STORY (1995-2010)

TS100Ah finally, a series where quality doesn’t deviate. Woody and Buzz’s adventures have never been less than absorbing and Pixar set the animation bar for years to come. If you didn’t shed a tear for the final instalment, you’re clearly some kind of emotionally retarded ice monster. Wonderful stuff from start to finish. Bliss.


7. DIE HARD (1998 – 2007)

diehard100Die Hard is the best action movie ever made, so that’s hard to top. Die Hard 2 was more of the same but with some planes and Die Hard 3 had the undeniable cool of Samuel L Jackson. 12 years later Bruce Willis returned without a vest but armed with the best explosions by far.

8. STAR TREK (1979-2009)

star_trek100Star Trek is an interesting one. It’s long regarded that every odd numbered Star Trek movie is awful, while every even one is great. This graph demonstrably proves it (until The Next Generation screwed it up a bit at the end). JJ Abrams put an end to that in 2009 though with a surprisingly good reboot.

9. ALIEN (1979-1997)

alien100Featuring one of the most iconic and recognisable monsters in movie history, Alien is still one the most memorable films ever made. Aliens in 1986 blended action and tension to create a masterpiece. The series dropped off somewhat with 3 and 4 – neither was unforgivable, but both were starting to scrape the barrel.

10. ROCKY (1976-2006)

rocky100The undoubtably brilliant Rocky slipped further and further into mediocrity as the series went on. It seems that exactly like Rocky, Stallone didn’t know when to quit. But Rocky Balboa, 30 years after the character made his debut, was an unexpectedly decent film (albeit utterly implausible).