Bosses Rush To Buy Cheap TVs To Prevent Euro 2012 ‘Exodus’

Any commuters who despise football will probably enjoy a slightly more peaceful trip home than usual this evening as their footy-mad colleagues hang around to watch England’s first match of Euro 2012 at 5pm today.

According to a poll by Asda bosses are buying cheap TVs by the office-load in a bid to stop their work-force heading off to the pub.

The survey found that three in ten workers will opt to remain at their workplace to watch England kick off their campaign against France, rather than leaving early in the afternoon.

Predictably, four out of ten said that they’d head to the pub to watch the match and the rest expected to either head home in time for kick-off or miss the match entirely because they hate football and wish people would stop talking to them about it.

But typically, bosses are only willing to spend a small amount of the company’s money on a new TV (told you they paid for it themselves did they? They lied..) and the cheapest television sets that are flying off shelves up and down the land.

“The rush hour chase for a seat is likely to be in the office,” said Michael Arnott, Asda’s TV expert in a carefully prepared statement. “We’ve seen brisk trade in affordable TVs this week and anecdotally we’re hearing that many of these TVs are headed for offices.”

So what’s the end of result of all this? Apparently there’ll be an increase in ‘slomuting’ which sees later trains and buses more packed than they’d normally be. And yes, that IS the stupidest word we’ve ever heard..

THE EURO 2012 FOOTBALL PHRASE TRANSLATOR..

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