“I’m Ready For The X Factor Axe”, Says Louis Walsh

Down and out?

After almost a decade on perhaps the most iconic Saturday night entertainment show of our time, Louis Walsh fears that this year may be his last on The X Factor.

According to reports by The Sun, the Irish music manager and coiner of terrible phrases feels sure that Cowell will eject him from the panel to make room for fresh talent.

Louis said: “I can’t believe it is my ninth year on X Factor. But I really don’t know if I’ll make it to ten.

“If I work hard, I’ll get the job. If not, Simon will let me go. It’s going to be hard work this year, really hard work. Simon will be cracking the whip.

“He makes the best shows but nobody is safe to stay. If I don’t make ten years I’ll have a lot on next year anyway.”

And by “a lot on”, Walsh is referring to an attempt to manage Shane Filan’s solo career post Westlife…that should keep him very busy indeed.

Oi Louis – how about a spot on The Voice? Danny is sure to be booted out before long and they will need another token Irish judge.

But there is little chance of Louis joining The Voice as a coach if he finds himself short of work.

“No way. It’s not great TV”, he told someone else. “It’s like Fame Academy all those years ago. The best thing about it is the revolving chairs.

“I hate The Voice“, he continued exercising visible restraint. “I think everyone thought The Voice UK would be like the US version, and it’s not. It’s dull and boring.”

If you’re reading this lowly internet blog Mr Cowell, we implore you not to deprive us of Louis next year. The world would never have seen such game-changing acts as Jedward or Wagner were it not for his unfailing belief in misguided ambition.

Follow us on Twitter right here and be our Facebook friend here