1. Midsomer Murders
Remade as ‘Mid-West Bible-Belt Murders’, the show would revolve around a posh and apparently god-fearing community who are forced to endure at least one murderous rampage per week. Tom Barnaby (played by failed comedian Adam Sandler) and his feckless side-kick are left to keep the peace in this tranquil hub of crime. Suggested tag-line; “God works in mysterious ways when there are guns about.”
2. My Big-Fat Gypsy Wedding
Let’s face it, the only difference between gypsies and red-necks is the accent (not that we can understand either of them..) and an American channel could make a load of cash by sending a camera crew in to a hill-billy stronghold and filming their primitive culture. While the British show turned Paddy Doherty into a reality TV star, it’s a safe bet that the highly suggestible American people would elect the star Red-Neck to Congress within the year.
3. Mrs Brown’s Boys
No real need to remake this for an American audience as it’s already more than dumb enough to excel there.
4. Downton Abbey
After renaming his beloved creation Yankton Plaza, an American broadcaster would pay Julian Fellowes millions to recreate the magic of his ITV hit for American audiences. Instead of early 20th century aristos, we’d be lumbered with the nouveau-riche of silicon valley and their downtrodden but obedient office cleaners. Catch-phrases like “Oh dear”, “Golly” and “That won’t do at all”, would be replaced with lines like “Let’s back up a minute”, “We’re just spit-balling” and “You tried to empty Mr Zuckerberg’s trash during his personal reflection session?”
5. Torchwood.
Oh right..
