An Office Viewer’s Guide To The Rugby World Cup

The Rugby World Cup begins on Friday morning? We’ve got a chance of winning that haven’t we?
Don’t get carried away old boy. Although we’ve done quite well in recent tournaments (winners in 2003 and finalists in 2007) this is an England team in the midst of some patchy form..
Really? Well at least we can’t go out on penalties..
Actually penalties form an important part of the game and with three points being awarded for each one it’s possible..
You know what I mean. So where’s it all being held? Is it going to be on terrestrial TV or have Murdoch and his cronies hoovered up the rights?
The good news is that yes, it will be on normal television with ITV1 screening a most games throughout the duration of the seven week tournament.
Awesome! That’s a lot of rugby..
Don’t get too excited, many of the twenty teams involved aren’t up to much so cynics have suggested that the real rugby doesn’t get started until the second half of the tournament, but that’s being a bit unkind to the mid-level teams like Wales, Samoa and Italy who are capable of playing some great stuff. However only four countries have ever won the competition..
Really? Who?
Have a think and I’ll tell you at the end.* Anyway, as I was saying, although it’s all on ITV, the bad news is that as it’s in New Zealand, those matches will be airing very early in the morning. Some are kicking off as early as 1.30am although England’s first match against Argentina will start at the more civilised hour of 9.00 on Saturday morning..
Argentina? Are they any good?
Well they’re not among the favourites but they’ve upset a few teams in the past and famously defeated the French in the opening game of their own World Cup four years ago..
Really? That’s hilarious..
Yes everyone likes to see the French get beaten, anyway it certainly won’t be a walk over for England on Saturday.
So there’s rugby on TV every morning?
Anyone with a well-positioned desk in the office or an easygoing boss will be able to watch live matches most mornings on the ITVPlayer or TVCatchup, but there are rest days when no games are taking place. Take a look at the schedule here..
So who are going to win then?
Ireland probably have the best chance out of the home nations – mind you we said that last time and they were rubbish – but you’d be foolish to look past the All Blacks..
That’s a bit racist!
No that’s the name of the New Zealand Rugby side who have been the best team in the world for about a decade, but somehow managed to not win the World Cup since the inaugural competition in 1987. They’ve actually been knocked out by France in two of the last three tournaments..
Wow! If the French intimidate you then you really need to take a look a good hard look at yourselves..
Indeed. But this time they have home advantage so it would be a major shock if they bottled it. We’ve said that before though..

*New Zealand (1) Australia (2) South Africa (2) England (1)