Don’t Believe The Hype – Five Trailers That Were Better Than Their Films

Like most things in life, films often don’t live up to the expectations their ads create around them – and whilst this is normally not a good thing, here are 5 films that could have done with only being released in their trailer forms.

Dear John (L Hallström, 2010):

A boy meets girl, after two weeks they’ve fallen for each other. She soon finds out he’s a marine on active service. He takes her to meet his father; she gets on well with him. He then goes off for another tour of duty. They write some nice letters to each other. He comes back to her. They both cry. There’s an ‘emotional’ soundtrack. They end up together. The end…

See – wasn’t that nice and painless and easy to take in, while not leaving you with that annoying feeling that you get from paying money for something that’s ultimately disappointing?

Magic Mike (Soderbergh, 2012)

Two policemen walk in to a busy party full of women. One of them starts searching the women, says a sleazy line and begins his stripper routine. We’re then introduced to Magic Mike. He’s a very successful (self-entitled) entrepreneur making loads of money through his many ‘fans’. The narrator then informs us that he’s “searching for moreâ€? in life, and begins contemplating being a custom furniture designer.

By chance, he meets a girl (who happens to be his colleague’s sister). She clearly isn’t too keen on the fact that his line of work involves him dancing like a man possessed with no clothes on in front of hundreds of screaming women and getting his tips in his underpants. So he tries to impress her and win her over. They end up going on holiday together, or at least they go to the beach together. And it all seems pretty light-hearted and positive. Sounds pretty good right? Well the film’s awful. I’d definitely stick to the trailer if I were you…

The Clash of the Titans (L Leterrier, 2010)

Guys in short skirts with oiled hair running around stabbing CGI monsters.

Safe (B Yakin, 2012)

A bald cockney ex-copper who can speak Russian, running around NYC with a 12 year old girl who has memorised a code that every mobster in the city wants.

Catwoman (Pitof, 2004)

Halle Berry looking fit in a latex cat suit. Need I say more?

I think you get the point by now…

It would be unfair of me to say that these films’ plots aren’t slightly more complex than the trailers give away, but at the same time I’m feeling a bit mean. So yeah, they’re not the finest pieces of cinematography ever released, nor are they particularly worth watching the whole way through. My recommendation is (if you can be bothered at all, or if you’ve never seen these films and want to out of curiosity) to go onto a website, such as YouTube, and watch the roughly 2-minute long trailer.

They’re short, sweet and get the essence of the film across without wasting your time, effort or money on watching them on DVD or through one of those Netflix-y type web-services… And besides, they cut out all the crappy ‘dialogue’ that plagues these films.
Look, I’m not saying that you should abandon all hope here because films as a whole aren’t worth your while, but as a nifty trick for movies you have a bad feeling about; just go online.

Because at the end of the day, films are about entertainment, and watching Jason Statham for any more than 5 minutes is anything but…