How Can Cheryl Make Herself Understood In The US? Ask Stephen Hawking..


Cheryl Cole – Is she worth it? No, I’m not talking about her hair colour, but the media attention. The constant stream of analysis and comment on what she’s wearing, what her love life’s like, and whether or not she will change her accent so that she won’t turn off American viewers?

Apparently, Cat Deeley has been mouthing off about how the US won’t take to Cheryl’s northern tones. I’m not entirely sure why Deeley is getting involved or what her qualifications in this particular area are, but if Cheryl’s worried, I may have the solution. If the Geordie lass wants to be nice and clear when speaking to an American audience, why not go for the Steven Hawking approach? It’s clear, concise and would be a new sound for her. I’m not sure how Hawking would feel about it, but I for one know that the L’Oreal adverts would be a hell of a lot more entertaining.

Back to my original point – does anyone care about Cole? Really? Are you sure?! Have I just lost the plot when I should be equally obsessed about the Girls Aloud strumpet as much as everyone else?

The pressure on my Cheryl Kettle reached boiling point today after it was reported that the X Factor judge has had a boob job in advance of her debut on the US show. Dr Dirk Kremer, from Harley Street Aesthetics, told Closer mag: “Cheryl’s boobs look very different now. Despite being hidden under a work-out top, you can see how rounded and full they seem. To mimic this look, she would have to be wearing a good gel bra.”

Well newsflash Dr Kremer, perhaps she did wear a decent bra, and I wonder what benefit it serves anyone for you to offer up opinion of Cole’s mammary glands. Come to think about it, why were you looking so close at her assets anyway? If I stuffed the crotch of my jeans with tissue would you accuse me of going under the knife?!

It’s also been reported today that Cheryl’s had movie offers. Great, another person who can’t act landing roles in terrible films. No, I haven’t seen them yet, but you just know they’re going to be awful.

My point here is that perhaps the media should pay attention to more important matters. But being that the media only serve up content that people want, perhaps it’s us as a society that should change. Why do we crave news on celebs? Is it because our own lives are so dull we need to know what other people are up to? If that’s true then it’s quite a sad statement.

But rather then following Cheryl Cole’s every move, why not be inspired by someone who has actually done something with their life and provided more to society than giving us a whole host of entertainment acts? Just an idea. Rant over.