Few people can deny that 2010 has been a rather poor year for British sport and picking the winner for this year’s BBC Sports Personality of the Year could be a close call. Despite managing to sleep with every model in the Northern Hemisphere, every member of the England football team had a turgid summer, belt-hogging Cockney David Haye could be a bit mouthy for the Beeb’s taste (let us not forget that a member of the royal family won it a couple of years back) and British rugby is also in the doldrums. Then there’s Andy Murray… Thank God for the Ashes is all we say! Anyway, to lighten the mood, we are bringing you the stupidest sporting moments of the last 12 months. As with the BBC’s gong, the competition was fierce..
Probably the most depressing moment of the year.. Actually, scratch probably. Definitely. With England in dire need of inspiration against a weak Algeria side, the sight of Emile lumbering down the line like a plastered student heading for the kebab shop after last orders was heart-wrenching.
Kansas City Wizards star Gilbert Arenas went all gangsta in the team locker room at the start of year by bringing in guns to threaten his colleague Javaris Crittenton over gambling debts. As you can see from this news-reel, despite being under investigation for carrying a pistol without a license, Gilbert (aka Agent Zero) had the audacity to joke about the incident by pretending to shoot teammates during introductions before a game. Whether he paid for Crittenton’s underwear to be cleaned is not known.
No one who turned up for the first round match between Nicolas Mahut and John Isner at this year’s Wimbledon Championships could have expected the epic tennisathon that followed. After being tied on two-sets all at the close of play on day one, the Frenchman and the American battled on for nearly nine hours the following day and went to bed with the score still tied at; 2-2, 59-59. Isner eventually served out for a 70-68 after just an hour of play the following morning. Between them, the pair set a host of records, including;
Longest match (11 hours, 5 minutes)
Longest set (the fifth set required 8 hours, 11 minutes)
Most games in a set (138 in the fifth set)
Most games in a match (183)
Most aces in a match by one player (Isner, 113)
Total aces in a match (Mahut’s 103 aces, the second highest number by a player in a match, brought the total to 216).
Consecutive service games held (168: 84 for each player).
If you’re going to screw up a World Cup, at least do it properly. England take note. The France national team did nothing to disprove the stereotype that some people have of them as a rather moody bunch. Let’s face it, if ‘Stropping’ was an Olympic event, no one else would stand a chance. Check out the way their fitness coach hurls away his badge with typically Gallic passion..
Winning the prize for the ‘Most Unsporting German’ of 2010 (always a closely fought category) is Michael Schumacher. He returned to Formula One after several years of retirement, realised that he was now crap and nearly killed Rubens Barrichello in a rather petulant attempt to ram his former team-mate into the wall for having the temerity to overtake him..
Evil Prince Schumacher may have come close to smashing the hell out of his Brazillian rival, but Mark Webber and Heikki Kovalainen went one better with this jaw-dropping crash in Valencia. What have we learned from this? 1) No matter how slow the people-carrier with the “Child on Board” sticker in front of you is going, tailgating is never a good idea. 2) If you want to get your company some sweet publicity, arrange for an F1 car to fly into the air and crash through your billboard..
So you’re team is 31-6 up against the World Champions and you’re about to secure your country’s first win in South Africa for 47 years. Unfortunately, in the second half those pesky Springboks mount a mammoth comeback and you drop the ball in comical fashion to gift them the equalising points. A weaker man would have crumbled in such circumstances, but Kurtley Beale snatched a joyously dramatic victory from the jaws of personal tragedy by kicking the winning conversion in injury time. From about five kilometres out… Roy of the Rovers stuff.
We were all shocked (and slightly impressed) when we heard that legendary Aussie spinner and all round lad’s lad Shane Warne had managed to bed the quintessentially lovely but tremendously posh Elizabeth Hurley. It’s not like she’s got a husband or anything… Apparently the whole thing began on Twitter. #wheresmymarriagegone? #gollywhatsfulltoss?
Audley Harrison managed to convince himself – and absolutely no one else – that he could claim the World Heavyweight Boxing title from the waist of his friend David Haye last month. It was not a good night for British Boxing, but it was a good one for Harrison who picked up £1.5 for his pathetic display. The bumbling oaf is currently sweating on the pay-out however after the British Board of Boxing threatened to withhold his purse after accusing him of “not trying”. Basically they can’t believe that anyone could possibly be so terrible at boxing…
More inspired than crazy, this wonder goal from Matty Burrows seals a win for Glentorran against Portadown, and in the 92nd minute as well. But check out his team-mate’s attempt to steal the glory with a celebration of his own!