The Boy’s Guide to TV (and Film) Girlfriends

As a companion piece to OTB’s Girl’s Guide to TV Girlfriends, here’s a guide from a male perspective, compiling five of the best TV GFs. And no, none of them have appeared on Take Me Out.

Dobby – Peep Show
The subject of Mark Corrigan’s affections post-Sophie, Dobby is quirky, geeky and works in IT. She bears a resemblance to her namesake house-elf from the Harry Potterverse, though to quote Captain Corrigan: “She is strangely attractive”. Plus she knows exactly how to lure a self-hating man into the ‘fuck bunker’. These are a points-worthy attributes in TV Girlfriends Top Trumps. Unfortunately she does have a habit of hanging around with her exes a bit too much, though her commitment caring for Gerrard in his last days demonstrates a humanity and empathy often lacking in the show itself (and life).

Céline – Before Sunrise
Before Sunrise is a wonderful film – a romcom for people who fucking hate romcoms. Ethan Hawke meets Julie Delpy on a train to Vienna, the pair hit it off immediately, opting to spend the day (and night) together, before departing – uncertain whether they would meet again. Attractive, intellectual, French; Delpy’s Céline has it all. Sunrise is very talky and Gen-Xy (none of this Jennifer Aniston and a poorly pup bollocks). A remnant of the pre-Internet/smartphone age, the film is able to tease a fairly open ending as to whether the two meet again. The sequel Before Sunset, which is possibly an ever better film, dispels Sunrise’s ambiguity, though offers up another dubious ending. Plans are afoot for a third and I can’t wait.

Sam – Garden State
Yes, Garden State’s Sam is a pathological liar and pretty immature – as if she’s in a state of arrested development. That dangerous combination of beauty and low self-esteem defines her character somewhat. She has a heart of gold though, helping Zach Braff’s Andrew through a tough time in his life, and is good fun to be around. Plus she has a great taste in music.

Charlotte – Lost in Translation
Charlotte isn’t technically Bill Murray’s girlfriend in Sofia Coppola’s Japan-set 2003 hit, but she bears all the hallmarks of the interesting, college graduate ( i.e. smart and alienated) as well as having Scarlett Johansson’s features, which in all honesty is the clincher.

Elaine – Seinfeld
Elaine would be great fun to be around, she’s fun, funny and low-maintenance. She’s just as shallow as Jerry, George and Kramer, but y’know, no one’s perfect. Ultimately, you can’t help but feel that like Jerry, you’d end up far to deep in the friendship zone to prolong a meaningful relationship. Still, if (unlike Jerry) you were able to combine the this (friendship) with the that (sex) without slipping into the other (relationship), you’d have the best of both worlds. You’d need to be sponge-worthy though.

David Lintott is on Twitter and blogs at Donkey Rhubarb.