Top 10 Kick-Ass Fictional Presidents

So the votes have been counted and The United States of America has indeed been declared sane. If you haven’t heard then you’ve probably been living under a rock or in the Shrieking Shack or somewhere else signal deprived.

Yes, Barack Obama avoids the stressful business that would be moving out of The White House and gets to keep his job as President of the US. Awesome. But, however trendy and “coolâ€? Obama appears, he will never be as kick-ass as some of those fictional film presidents.

As much as I fantasise about Obama hopping in a jet and shooting down some Aliens, I really don’t think it’s going to happen. Therefore, I look at the Presidents you really need in a crisis: kick-ass fictional ones.

President James Marshall – Air Force One
Political Slogan: “Get off my plane!â€?
Played by a gruff and sexy 90’s Harrison Ford, President Marshall is the just perfect combination of presidential power and pure badassness in this action classic. Despite being a honest (shock horror) politician, his casual saving his family and the world from the awesomely evil Gary Oldman, earns him top position. Election winning moments include: taking a secret dump, a fuel dump that is; saving the better half of the hostages; escaping the falling plane on a zip-wire with a badly worn harness; and killing the head terrorist with nothing but a parachute, a strap, and an open door.

President Thomas J. Whitmore – Independence Day
Political Slogan: “Let’s nuke the bastardsâ€?
President Whitmore, played by Bill Pullman, earns his bad ass badge saving the world from an alien invasion – no mean feat considering that he’s competing for those man points with a spaceship flying Will Smith. Kick-ass credits include: using nuclear weapons (not always great idea, but no doubt cool); shooting down some alien assholes as a jet fighter pilot; firing the lame Secretary of defence guy; and delivering an epic inspirational speech.

President Abraham Lincoln – Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Political Slogan: “I shall kill them all.â€?
Yes technically this President is a real one, but I think Benjamin Walker’s Vampire hunting Lincoln is just about fictional enough for this list. It’s very difficult to be a vampire hunter and not be kick-ass. Bad ass stuff: general Vampire killing and axe swinging and stuff that I assume happened because I haven’t actually seen this film. Trailer looked cool though.

President Beck – Deep Impact
Political slogan: “Life will go on, we will prevail.â€?
Morgan Freeman would make an epic president in real life but here we find him facing the end of the world as President Beck. Can’t say that Beck does a lot of shooting but he provides some badass gravitas. Kick-ass stuff: fighting comets with missiles and spaceships; attempting to preserve the human race; and delivering an epic ‘life goes on’ speech with the “waters recedingâ€? and all that.

President Thomas Wilson – 2012
Political slogan: “The world, as we know it, will soon come to an end.â€?
Danny Glover also has a lot of gravitas in this disaster movie of all disaster movies. He has to try and save his country from earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis and pretty much everything else that happens when the inside of the earth turns to crap. Ultimately his badass badge comes from staying behind and going down with his “shipâ€? as the wiener guy says – his rating might be higher if he had fired wiener guy.

President Lindberg – The Fifth Element
Political Slogan: “One more reason to shoot first.â€?
Despite Tommy Lister’s President Lindberg making the tiny mistake of accidentally making The Great Evil a hundred times stronger, he manages to keep his cool facing the end of world. Also, he is President of the Federation (whatever that means) which sounds awesome.

President Arnold Schwarzenegger – The Simpsons Movie
Political slogan: “I was elected to lead, not to read.â€?
As said by the head of the EPA “anyone can pick something when they know what it is; it takes real leadership to pick something you’re clueless aboutâ€?. This is what makes President Schwarzenegger kick-ass. Well that and whole mocking the real Arnold Schwarzenegger thing.

President James Dale – Mars Attacks!
Political Slogan: “Why can’t we all just get along!â€?
Jack Nicholson is kick-ass most of the time so as president he’s pretty cool. After delivering a lovely inspirational speech he gets stabbed with an alien’s arm which transforms into a flag. See – cool!

President Itchy – The Simpsons Movie
Well he does go to the moon! And Hilary Clinton is the Vice President. And he’s a mouse! Awesome.

President Devlin – Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
George Clooney. Nuff Said.

Julia Paynton

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