Tour De France Clips: 5 Crashes & 1 Amazing Save

Have you ever tried to cross the road and nearly been decapitated by some bicycle dude who is as fast as he is cr*p at reading road signs? Well us pavement lubbers could be in for a pleasant July, as instead of tearing round the city, these crazed cyclists will surely be at home watching the biggest and best bike race in the world: The Tour De France. Only joking cyclists, we know what a careful bunch of road-users you are…ahem.

Let’s be clear, we at OTB don’t enjoy watching people hurt themselves, but after watching these clips, we might think about putting Jeremy Kyle forward for a place in next year’s race. So to celebrate the start of this annual slog up and down the Alps, we are bringing you some of the strangest crashes that have ever happened on the French A-Roads…

Tour De France will be on daily from Saturday 3rd July at 5pm on ITV4 & 4pm on British Eurosport

French Policeman Tries To Take Photo. Fails.

Places not to stand when taking a photo: In the middle of a minefield, anywehere near Liam Gallagher and in the way of a sprinting cyclist. Sadly in 1994 a French copper thought that he might just pop out from behind a crowd barrier to get a snap of the peleton as it rushed towards the finishing line in Armentières. He won’t be doing that again…

Cyclist vs Dog. Dog Wins.

There you are, just peddling along, wondering if tonight’s massage girl will be the ugly one or the hot one, when BANG! You and your mate have been upended by a stray dog. Luckily the dog was OK although he seemed to show no remorse for his actions. This certainly wasn’t the last time such an incident happened however, a couple of years later an older relation of the Andrex puppy was involved in a similar (if slightly slower) collision. France! Control your dogs!

Lance Armstrong’s Shortcut..

Dodgeball enthusiast Lance Armstrong had won the Tour De France for the last four years, so when he got hold of the coveted yellow jersey (always worn by the current leader of the race) in 2003 it looked like it would be all plain sailing for the American. But it was anything but. Here we can see him following another cyclist when the unfortunate bloke takes a bizarre tumble. While the man behind Armstrong stops to help the stricken dude, our old mate Lance helps himself to a bit of a shortcut. That’s how you win seven tours in a row…

Cyclist Falls Down Ravine In Slowest Crash Ever.

As Tour De France crashes go, this is a rather trivial one (although we have no doubt it would have kept some of the sales team off sick for about 6 months with full pay and an expenses tab at Nando’s..) yet it is the apparent madness of the second rider which made us look twice. The first cyclist clearly loses grip on a nasty bend and hits the deck before sliding about 5 metres on his backside. Upon seeing the fate of his mate, the second bloke applies the brakes and simply slides agonisingly slowly into the barrier, at which point he tumbles off the road! Cycling: Much harder than it looks.

Lance Storms To Victory After Crashing Into Handerchief..

Karma. Sometimes it’s a motherf*cker isn’t it? In 2003, just a week or so after going cross country to save himself a bit of peddling, Lance Armstrong was yanked from his bike by a youth with a small and inconspicuous tissue. He quickly gave the young scamp a clip round the ear, but no sooner had he remounted when he lost grip in the peddle and nearly crashed for a second time in 60 seconds. Most men would have crawled into the team van, demanded an extra-large elastoplast and sobbed all the way back the hotel, but Lance Armstrong is certainly not most men. Take a look at this clip…

From The Ridiculous To The Sublime..

We thought we’d round up this epic compendium with a tribute to a nameless rider who showed both utter incompetence and unrivalled skill, all within the space of 2 seconds. Judging by the absence of other riders, we might assume that this cyclist is either at the very front or very back of the race (this clip might lead you to believe the latter). Sure he wobbles, but he also manages to save himself from a head-on collision with a telegraph pole. Well done my son!