A Good Day To Die Hard In cinemas now "Yippee ki-yay Mother Russia" It\u2019s a good tagline: it\u2019s just not got much of a movie to go with it. Bruce is back in the vest and heading over to Russia, where his son (Jai Courtney) is involved in a CIA plot to rescue a government whistleblower (Sebastian Koch). Things soon go tits up, and Willis and Son find themselves racing across Eastern Europe to retrieve some tasty secrets. This being a Die Hard, of course, nothing\u2019s that simple. Neither, in this case, is it that clear. Gone are the clever feints of the original, to be replaced by twists that feel obligatory and make a nonsense of everything that\u2019s gone before. Not that what had gone before made a lot of sense anyway. It\u2019s interesting that the Russians have swung around to being the Hollywood default for bad guys again, but this isn\u2019t a film that\u2019s interested in the changes their country has seen in the past 20 years. It\u2019s just full of cool and scary names the writers sorta recognise from a dozen other trashy flicks. The screenplay\u2019s got low-grade photocopy all over it, and it\u2019s grasp of nuclear physics makes Dan Brown look like Robert Oppenheimer. Willis\u2019s relationship with his son is a retread of his relationship with his daughter from the last movie \u2013 and a barely developed one at that. Plenty of franchises end up bastardising their first entry, but few rip off an already shit sequel. There might be a character arc there if you squint (let\u2019s lay some chips down now that Die Hard 6 will see Willis going after his ex-wife), but the film won\u2019t thank you for spotting it. It\u2019ll barely thank you for being present. Even if you can be bothered to concentrate, frenetic camerawork and cuts every millisecond make it difficult to follow. In an early set piece, trucks and armoured cars barge their way through the Moscow traffic, but it\u2019s all spectacle and no elegance. It\u2019s like watching someone playing Grand Theft Auto badly. It\u2019s also a humourless affair. There\u2019s nothing like the endlessly quotable lines from the original. Instead, we\u2019re thrown the sort of crap flippancy that wouldn\u2019t raise a laugh in a footballer player\u2019s locker room. Willis remembers these films were once funny, but has dialled his archness up to a point of intolerable smugness. He\u2019s not just someone\u2019s dad; he\u2019s someone\u2019s incredibly annoying dad. A Good Day to Die Hard is ridiculous, but so rough around the edges it doesn\u2019t even qualify as mindless fun. It can\u2019t be bothered to engage with its own narrative and instead looks like an accountancy spreadsheet flickering past at 24 frames per second. The next instalment\u2019s already in the pipeline: let\u2019s hope they get the marketing guy to write the script.