All of the land will be watching the inauguration of the Infernal One as he prepares to sit upon the skull throne. The throne, specially commissioned for the occasion, has been made out of the actual skulls of his enemies. The skull of his great foe, now referred to by imperial law only as “The Crooked Woman”, sits nearest the infernal codpiece. The representative of the enemy forces, clad in chains and manacles, will present the imperial seal to the Infernal One before the welcoming feast, where the representative will have pride of place as the main course. The ceremony will be attended by the Infernal One’s loyalist allies, including the scribes of Breitbart who will record the event, and dignitaries of other lands, most notably Farage of the Isles of Isolation. Providing guard will the Infernal One’s military forces, including his hordes of dragons, orcs and the hooded white priests of the K Order. While there have been reports of rebels planning to cause a disturbance during the celebration, the Infernal One relayed a message via his pet vultures, who tweeted that the rebels were: “Overrated”. A decree has been put forth ordering that any man taking part in the protest shall be tortured and then slain to entertain the masses watching via “The Vision”; any woman shall be taken by the orcs to increase the Infernal One’s forces with no means to terminate mating at any point; and anyone who claims not to be one of the two and only genders, or displays behaviour decreed indecent, shall have their body mutilated till it is correct and then shall be re-educated. After the ceremony and feast, he will retire to the White Citadel and begin preparation for his planned trip to the southern border, to begin construction of the imperial barrier, followed by realising new details of his plans to deal with those who claim to follow the Crescent Moon. President Trump: The Inauguration is on BBC Parliament at 15.00 and later BBC One and ITV at 16.00. Inspired by the Sunday Herald.