Suits: Season Two Thursday, January 24, 9pm on Dave Proving not all bastards in suits are likeable, Suits is back. New viewers will flounder, but don’t worry; there’s a reason this US import’s on Dave. God, not even FX picked it up, the humiliation. The ratings must have been into Stephen Hawkings figures because there’s no other reason this sorry excuse for entertainment could have got picked up for a second series. For this is a show aimed at blokes and is every bit as patronising as so many other products flogged at that affluent, male, 25-40 demographic: you don’t read Nuts or wear white synthetics, you have a subscription to Men’s Health and go to the gym on your lunch hour; you don’t value characters or plotting, you want to see men who are successful and women who only make noise about men. You suspect you are that guy in the Old Spice adverts. Suits sees itself in the slip stream of Mad Men. It’s about businessmen in suits. They are mean, egotistical and successful with women (who are also in suits). It wants to be about success, self-reliance and self-image. In suits. Don Draper, Roger Sterling and the rest are bastards equal to any of those seen here – in fact, they’re probably even bigger ones – but their show knows it and doesn’t present it as the reason to love them. To throw Suits off as man’s answer to Sex and the City would be an easy one-liner, but it would miss the point. Somewhere in that sorry mess of designer labels, self-absorbed consumerists and Sarah Jessica Parker was something that clearly spoke to a lot of women. Something that said things women were feeling, but hadn’t felt articulated in shows aimed at them before. That was before they went to bloody Abu Dhabi, of course. There’s a gap in the market for a similar product for men (the commercial talk is deliberate, ‘cause that’s the sort of market we’re in here, kids), but Suits is so far from it. By the halfway mark of this episode, you’re so disconnected from plot and character that the only fun to be had is in trying to work out how much the square-footage of that glass meeting room must have cost. Suits is a show for men. Bad men.