Preview: Love Island

Love Island new arrivals

There was a story on the BBC website today reporting that schoolchildren as young as eight were coupling up in Wales – imitating the Love Islanders. I thought it was the other way round, as I can’t ever remember seeing a more emotionally childlike group of adults in my days.

The tears, the tantrums and the neediness helps, like any good quality concealer, mask the galaxy class idiocy of the Island guests. Yes, I know they are there for their looks rather than brain processing power but the 8-year-olds of Carmarthenshire could probably tell you whether Italy is in Rome or Rome is in Italy. And, without question, they could tell you that Barcelona is not in Rome.

Anyway, enough of this, last night we discovered the outcome of Monday’s Amy/Curtis, Lucie/George most unpopular couple cliff-hanger and, as expected, Lucie carrying the dead weight of a man without personality was shown to the exit with her beau. They were quickly followed by Amy, who thanked everyone as if she’d been friends with them forever (rather than 4 weeks), before marching out.

So five housemates evicted in two days can only mean one thing – it’s time for some fresh meat. You need either a thick skin or to be as dumb as a tree trunk to walk into the Villa at this stage of the show – check out how George, Jourdan, Arabella, Elma and others fared – so best of luck to 28 year-old Chris Taylor, who is really proud of his eyebrows (but probably cringes about his lame chest tattoo), and 23 year-old clothes horse Francesca Allen from Essex, who claims to know some of the TOWIE cast. High aspirations indeed, sigh.

Love Island – Wednesday at 9.00pm on ITV2.