When you were at school, do you remember the kid who always ate all their sweets without sharing and always had a massive hissy fit and sulk if you didn’t share your own?
That’s who Michael grew up to be.
He’s the guy who has made selfishness an art form. Full marks to the Love Island researchers and production staff who delivered him to our screens.
No sooner had Irish Greg disarmed Amber with his rugged good looks and manliness than Michael decides that he wants to play, too.
It’s the ‘ex’ story that plays out in a thousand bars and clubs every weekend, and invariably ends messily with shouting and tears.
Will Amber be daft enough to fall for his patter?
Of course she will, it’s Love Island, idiots!
Love Island – Thursday at 9.00pm on ITV2.