Bridezillas Review: No One Does Mental Quite Like America

BRIDEZILLAS: Tuesday 15th February, REALLY, 8pm ALERT ME

American TV execs have so far managed to introduce a frightening amount of crazies to our beloved television screens. First they brought us Jerry Springer, a chat show based on the scandalous lives of trailer-dwelling imbeciles. Then they stole Wife Swap, and so the British public were subjected to a sorry mixture of male chauvinist pigs, ruthless feminists and crazy coupon collectors. Here at OTB we dread to think what the auditions for X Factor USA are going to throw at us. But now America has taken it one step further, and is bringing to our screens the scariest form of American yet – the Bridezilla.

As you might have guessed, television show Bridezillas contains more moaning, meringue-wearing miseries than a bombed bakery. A camera crew follows these bothersome brides around as they make final preparations for their wedding, catching snippets of their hellish antics along the way. The appeal is simple; each episode features two brides that make Jordan look positively shy and Kerry Katona sane, whilst they argue, degrade and humiliate themselves toward that aisle.

In the first episode we meet Ivy, who as a professional wedding planner knows exactly what she wants for her special day. Her fiancé informs us that he fell in love with her after refraining from sleeping with her for a whole month, which might seem absurd but is totally understandable once you meet her. This tiny half-Philippine screeches and whines like a Jack Russell on speed, and is no different with her clients telling one fellow bride-to-be, ‘those dresses really aren’t that cute!’

Then we scoot over to Ohio to meet another she-wolf busy regurgitating insults by the second, this time the delightful Andrea. The gothic bride tells us that the greatest thing about her fiancé is that he tolerates her, which is an ideology certain to be snapped up by Hallmark. As she creates her seating plan using tombstones, Andrea explains that she is getting married on Halloween, which we suppose makes her the corpse bride. Sadly, this woman is very much alive as she heads off to her hen- party and manages to end up in a bar brawl with a man who called her mother fat. Sigh.

Both brides end up marrying the men that ‘tolerate’ them, but not without a sizeable portion of intolerance along the way. It’s a fairly unoriginal concept, but if you have an appetite for scandal then Bridezillas is definitely one to watch. Perhaps not with your boyfriend should you ever want him to propose, because the lengths these women go to in order to have their perfect day is touching on the psychotic.

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