CHERRY HEALEY – HOW TO GET A LIFE: Wednesday 20th June, BBC4, 9pm
If youâre anything like Cherry Healey, you probably want answers to all of lifeâs fundamental questions. Questions, Cherry explains, like âDoes my bum look big in this?â? or âDo I need a Brazilian?â?
You know, all the important stuff.
Didnât have any of those kind of questions in mind? Well, remember, this isnât a Camus novel. This, unfortunately, is a BBC Three documentary series, where âlifeâs fundamental questionsâ? actually means âtrivial, tedious inquiries into what itâs like to be a generic young personâ?.
The big question this week: is it better to be single or settled?
Cherry starts her investigation by telling the cameras of how she used to go to wild club nights and crazy raves in her youth, but now that sheâs married, she just stays in and watches television.
âI am happy,â? she insists. âBut am I now a bit boring?â?
Her pondering leads her on the case of a horny youth hostel manager, who confesses to being a bit of a ladies man.
âBallpark figure,â? he says. âI reckon Iâve slept with about 80 women.â?
He even has a map of the world up in his office, decorated with pins that denote where his favourite f*cking locations are. Weâre even treated to some footage of him subjecting two lucky ladies to his âcharmâ?, which has little to do with charisma and much to with constant, unrelenting persistence.
Still, it pays off somehow and he ends up sucking the face off of one very lucky lady, much to the annoyance of one of his other victims. When she cries, he dismisses her reaction as her being âtired and emotionalâ?.
Frankly, heâs a completely dick, but a happy one weâre told. Never mind his evident deep-seated problems with women or the fact that he looks like an owl thatâs tried to dry its feathers with a hair dryer which is stuck on the âtwatâ? setting. Never mind all that. Letâs move on.
To contrast, we meet somebody whoâs unlucky in love. His friends call him âthe openerâ? because heâs great at chatting up girls, but terrible at tricking them into having sex with him.
We also meet a young couple that donât believe in monogamy.
âWhatâs the best thing about a threesome?â? Cherry asks the man in the relationship â or small boy rather.
âTwo girls!â? he says, without hesitation.
Well, obviously, but not two guys mind, heâs quick to point out. Heâs fine taking advantage of their open relationship, just so long as he doesnât have to look at another man naked. Other than this, we donât learn much else about the couple, who both openly admit that their lack of monogamy is merely an excuse to sleep with other people.
So did the programme answer the question it set out? Not really. The people featured are all very much at transitional periods in their lives, no sure where theyâre going to go next.
The programme opens with the vague implication that itâs going to attempt to answer one of âlifeâs fundamental questionsâ?, but within seconds descends into a gaudy, Bravo-standard excuse to peep into the lives of some very horny young people. Itâs almost entertaining at times, but mostly itâs just very difficult to watch.
