Cherry Healey – How To Get a Life Review: Errmm..

CHERRY HEALEY – HOW TO GET A LIFE: Wednesday 20th June, BBC4, 9pm

If you’re anything like Cherry Healey, you probably want answers to all of life’s fundamental questions. Questions, Cherry explains, like “Does my bum look big in this?â€? or “Do I need a Brazilian?â€?

You know, all the important stuff.

Didn’t have any of those kind of questions in mind? Well, remember, this isn’t a Camus novel. This, unfortunately, is a BBC Three documentary series, where “life’s fundamental questionsâ€? actually means “trivial, tedious inquiries into what it’s like to be a generic young personâ€?.

The big question this week: is it better to be single or settled?

Cherry starts her investigation by telling the cameras of how she used to go to wild club nights and crazy raves in her youth, but now that she’s married, she just stays in and watches television.

“I am happy,â€? she insists. “But am I now a bit boring?â€?

Her pondering leads her on the case of a horny youth hostel manager, who confesses to being a bit of a ladies man.

“Ballpark figure,â€? he says. “I reckon I’ve slept with about 80 women.â€?

He even has a map of the world up in his office, decorated with pins that denote where his favourite f*cking locations are. We’re even treated to some footage of him subjecting two lucky ladies to his “charmâ€?, which has little to do with charisma and much to with constant, unrelenting persistence.

Still, it pays off somehow and he ends up sucking the face off of one very lucky lady, much to the annoyance of one of his other victims. When she cries, he dismisses her reaction as her being “tired and emotionalâ€?.

Frankly, he’s a completely dick, but a happy one we’re told. Never mind his evident deep-seated problems with women or the fact that he looks like an owl that’s tried to dry its feathers with a hair dryer which is stuck on the “twatâ€? setting. Never mind all that. Let’s move on.

To contrast, we meet somebody who’s unlucky in love. His friends call him “the openerâ€? because he’s great at chatting up girls, but terrible at tricking them into having sex with him.

We also meet a young couple that don’t believe in monogamy.

“What’s the best thing about a threesome?â€? Cherry asks the man in the relationship — or small boy rather.

“Two girls!â€? he says, without hesitation.

Well, obviously, but not two guys mind, he’s quick to point out. He’s fine taking advantage of their open relationship, just so long as he doesn’t have to look at another man naked. Other than this, we don’t learn much else about the couple, who both openly admit that their lack of monogamy is merely an excuse to sleep with other people.

So did the programme answer the question it set out? Not really. The people featured are all very much at transitional periods in their lives, no sure where they’re going to go next.

The programme opens with the vague implication that it’s going to attempt to answer one of “life’s fundamental questionsâ€?, but within seconds descends into a gaudy, Bravo-standard excuse to peep into the lives of some very horny young people. It’s almost entertaining at times, but mostly it’s just very difficult to watch.