Choccywoccydoodah Review: Crazy Candy Shop

CHOCCYWOCCYDOODAH: Monday 10th October, GOOD FOOD, 9pm

Developing diabetes just by a watching TV programme is physically impossible isn’t it? But after the first episode of series two of Choccywoccydoodah I am seriously concerned about my blood sugar levels and it’s not just the vats of chocolate that leave a sickly sweet taste in the mouth.

Choccywoccy Queens, Christine and Christine, are back with their team of eccentric chocolatiers to give audiences a peek behind the scenes of the Brighton-based confectionary emporium who provide sweet treats to the stars. Tonight’s opening episode saw the team rushed off their feet at the busiest time of year for any choco-shop, Easter. A giant chocolate house filled with lil’ choccy bunnies was given pride of place in the infamous Choccywoccydoodah window and customers could choose from marshmallow sheep, chocolate chicks or a more conventional Easter egg. Sorry, did I say conventional Easter egg? I meant a monstrous 65kg pure Belgian chocolate egg worth £700.

In fact, nothing about this Brighton business is conventional. And, as you would expect, the staff are no less exuberant than the outlandish cocoa creations they produce. Described proudly by Christine as not able to “fit in anywhere elseâ€?, the boss lady seems to have a very close eye on who she employs and how they will embody the bonkers Choccywoccydoodah ethos.

The other half of the business is owned by Christine #2, who generally spends her time being outraged by her counterpart’s extravagant giveaways. But Christine #1 just wants to see a happy ickle face beaming up at her and beams as she gives another monster artery-clogger to a four-year-old girl. So far, so sickly.

The shop’s name was supposedly dreamed up by the pair on a drunken night out. Surely not?! But it seems to have done the trick because the small shop now has many celebrity clientele including the late Amy Winehouse, Kylie Minogue and Johnny Depp. With 7,500 other orders leaving the “studioâ€? every year, there is no time for anyone to take a break, let alone have a Kit Kat. This series will follow the team’s efforts as they try to impress Boy George with a subtle fuchsia pink and canary yellow cake for his 50th birthday.

To be frank, all the glittery chocolate and luscious loveliness is a tad nauseating. But in ‘doodah’s defence, it is a relief to watch a reality show which features genuine people with genuine talents. These are hard workers who are actually earning a living and engaging with society (even if it is in their own Choccywoccy way). The staff are quite brilliant at what they do and they are incredibly passionate about their jobs. Those pompous layabouts from Chelsea and the talentless crew of wannabes from Essex could do with taking note.

Talent aside, the patronising narration and vague attempts at drawing out a bit of drama lead to rushed montages of the actual business of chocolate sculpting and designing which is a bit of a shame. Watching Choccywoccy…the show, is like biting into a delicious looking doughnut which sparkles
with sugar and promise, but doesn’t contain any jam. Tasty enough but does not quite fulfil its potential for greatness.

Watch Choccywoccydoodah on Good Food channel, weeknights at 9pm from Monday 10 October (Sky / HD 249, Virgin 260).