*Spoiler Warning: Please only continue with this series blog if you have watched up to series 8 of Game of Thrones*
It turns out Lord Stark’s ‘treason’ didn’t go quite as well as Jamie ‘king slayer’ Lannister’s did back in the day, so while Ned is left chained up, chatting to a eunuch, his entire entourage is massacred without mercy. Arya is in ‘dance practice’ while all the slaughtering takes place, which means we finally get to see Syrio fight, and fight he does, easily taking out seven armoured assailants, with only a wooden sword. Syrio’s fate, however, is left to our imagination as the camera follows Arya while she makes her escape, and her first kill.
Episode eight is more akin to the first few, flitting between different characters with no one particular focus, so rather a lot goes on, but there isn’t much depth to it.
Back in the hills, Tyrion and his new bodyguard are ambushed by The Stone Crows clan, led by Shagga son of Dolf, a man who likes to announce his name a lot. And once again the imp’s silver tongue sees him out of harm’s way – just. It’s still impossible to tell where Tyrion’s allegiances lie, on the one hand he is a Lannister, but on the other, he’s helped out the house of Stark at every opportunity; bonding with Jon Snow, Saving Catelyn’s life, devising a saddle that allows Bran to ride again.
So Arya escaped into the wilderness, but what became of Sansa? She was captured and tasked with writing a letter home in order to prove her allegiance to the inbred King Joffrey and his incestuous puppet-master mother. When Robb Stark reads the letter he declares war and marches south to meet the Lannisters in battle with 20,000-strong army of northern soldiers.
After Conan, sorry Khal’s – Jason Momoa is actually playing Conan in this year’s upcoming remake – proclamation in the previous episode about riding wooden seahorses, raping and pillaging, conquering the world, giving his unborn kid a metal chair to sit on, launching his own shampoo brand and such, Conan decides that in order to get enough money to launch said shampoo he has to rape and pillage any tribe not as badass as the Dothraki, which means raping and pillaging pretty much everyone.
Khaleesi takes pity on one tribe and orders the Dothraki to give all the tribe’s women to her, to do as she pleases. This doesn’t go down too well among the rest of the Dothraki and Conan has to rip a rival’s throat out just to keep the peace.
Jon Snow receives news of his father’s new abode and cannot contain his anger when one of the Night’s Watch calls him a bastard and says something witty about Lord Stark. After being confined to quarters, Jon notices his wolf is acting weird and decides to investigate. It turns out a body the watch brought back from beyond the wall has turned into a zombie and it’s trying to kill the commander, a zombie with blue eyes, which can mean only one thing; he was killed by a White Walker.
With only two more episodes to go (a second season has been promised) it’s difficult to say what will happen before Game of Thrones draws to a close, but one thing’s for certain, there will be blood.