Goldie’s Band, By Royal Appointment Review

GOLDIE’S BAND – BY ROYAL APPOINTMENT: Saturday 26th March, BBC2, 9pm

Another week another celebrity journey to find some talented but troubled kids and give them an opportunity of a lifetime ™. Wayne Rooney did it, Simon Cowell would like to think that he does it and Jamie Oliver can’t get enough of it. But unlike some of the qualification dodging yobs on Jamie’s Dream School, the kids in Goldie’s Band are bright, humble and lovable despite the fact that they’ve all been through some serious shit in their lives… rather than just a detention or two. And while we’re swearing, the whole quest to put together a band of young musicians is done with a refreshing lack of bollocks*.

Of course growing up in the several different children’s homes meant that Goldie had it pretty rough when he was little(r) so you believe him when he tells you that he can relate to these poor prodigiously talented youths. To be honest, a couple of hours in front of the TV these days should be enough to convince any couple that having children is a bad idea. They’ll either up with an ASBO, on drugs, dropping out of school, contracting ADD or worst of all… hanging around with Cheryl Cole.

However at least watching this programme makes you think that those who have been kicked about by society actually have something to offer rather than bad attitude and crap slang. Listening to the story of a bloke who learned to play the guitar in prison is uplifting because he comes across as a genuinely nice guy, but watching as the music execs discover a deaf trumpeteer and a dyslexic harmonicist who can’t read music is positively uplifting.

But diversity really is the key in every sense as there are rappers, guitarists, singers, sitar players and classical musicians (believe it or not..) for Goldie and his sidekicks to whittle down to create a band to perform at Buckingham Palace. As such the real beauty of the whole project is not only the fact that these youngsters are not being forced into a music producer’s gameplan, but that this team of industry celebrities really want to find people who have overcome all types of adversity.

*Bollocks: [bol-uhks] – noun. People crying for effect, anything related to Glee, jazz hands, dramatic pauses, scenes with Take That’s Greatest Day playing in the background, phrases like “You’ve got a big future..”, “I just don’t want to go home” or “I want this so much..”