Hunted, Episode 3: Review (Minor Spoilers)

HUNTED, Thursday 18th October, BBC ONE, 9pm

The best thing about Hunted is undeniably the table made out of a giant i-Pad which the feisty Scottish one uses to fling documents literally – literally – across her desktop at the assembled spies. It’s absolutely great. She grabs the docs and she flings ‘em to the edges of the table, but do they fall off? Do they heck! They stop at the edge, like the first version of snake.

That is, they do if you don’t hold a normal-sized i-Pad underneath – or at least a non-branded device which looks rather a lot like an i-Pad – in which case they slither pleasingly off the edge and jump in.

I’d never get one, of course, or I’d forever be flinging pornography and half-written cover letters at people, and accidentally zooming my solitaire game into the mobile of someone who’s just sat down for lunch, but it is very cool.

The second best thing about Hunted, and there is a large gap between this and the magic table, is when somebody says something like, ‘You might find that difficult, Mr Jones, when you’re dead!’ and shoots them in the face.

Admittedly, there is nothing of that calibre in this week’s episode (or indeed of the calibre of the first week’s, “An accident? Is it my son?â€? “No, it is you!â€?), but there is a fantastic moment in which Aiden deadpans into his mobile, “The fish is on the line, I repeat, the fish is on the line.â€?

Now, we mere mortals can only guess the impenetrable nature of the message hidden within this top-secret code – a code formulated by the top crackers in the world – so I suppose it’ll have to go down in history as one of those unsolvable enigmas like, “The pig is in the pokeâ€? or, “I’m going to take the D-O-G for a W-A-L-K.â€?

In other news, Aiden is the mole, the Cockneys are still on the run from Guy Richie who’s chasing after them with a big sack shouting “Get back in my brain where you belong!â€?, and the Scottish one who controls the magic table still won’t hook up with Fowkes.

On the upside, the plot seems to be getting thicker, but it still wouldn’t keep you warm if you wore it as a jumper, and Sam seems to have put down the sledge hammer and settled for a mere mallet in her attempts to get it into our skulls that she’s bonding with the little Turner boy.

In this week’s episode, for example, she gives him her favourite childhood book but declines to proffer him her naked breast, which is much better since she’ll almost certainly end up having to kill him anyway and we’ll all feel emotionally blackmailed and dirty.

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