The Apprentice Episode 5 Review: It’s All Rover For Vincent

THE APPRENTICE: Wednesday 1st June, BBC1, 9pm

This week saw the teams tasked with the creation of a new pet food brand – sadly Don Draper was nowhere in sight. The would-be ad men and women were given three days to come up with a polished product and TV commercial. As is usually the case on the Apprentice, neither team’s effort was anywhere approaching professional.

Acting team-leader Vincent’s ingenious idea was to name their brand ‘pal’, until it was pointed out to him that not only does this brand already exist, but it is also one of the largest in the industry. Luckily for Vincent, his hero Jim swooped to the rescue and came up with a new idea, ‘Every Dog’. And even though a vet told the team that using one recipe to feed every dog “went against everything vets believe in,â€? Vincent insisted it was a fantastic idea, mainly due to his unwavering confidence in everything Jim does.

Glenn was the other team’s (Venture) leader, and lead he did. Half his team were charged with conducting market research with a focus-group of cat owners, but instead of taking their suggestions on-board he decided to go with a name he envisioned while staring out the window of his chauffeur driven car – cat’s eyes, which soon became cat-size, given the added slant on pet nutrition.

The show progressed expectedly, with comic moments coming from the cats and dogs and a complete lack of knowledge being exhibited by team members: “I don’t know what dog food is supposed to look like, but it looks colourful. That’s good.â€?

Nick was on form as usual, this week focussing on Vincent’s apparent infatuation with Jim: “Although, Vincent is project manager, he seems to be leaning on Jim quite a lot; it’s almost a sort of Batman and Robin thing – okay with you Batman?â€? Guess who Batman is.

In the boardroom everyone laughed uneasily at Lord Sugar’s un-funny jokes and waited nervously for his decision, which, to be fair, wasn’t too difficult – cat-size won comfortably, despite a woeful TV commercial.

After the usual juxtaposition between the winners’ treat and the losers’ café, Vincent’s team (Logic) were brought back into the boardroom. “Never mind ‘Logic’, you ought to be called ‘tragic’,â€? said Lord Sugar, before pointing out that Vincent and Tom have failed everything they’ve been tasked with this series.

Lord Sugar laid into Jim in the boardroom: “In the old days there was always rumours about what went in to make dog food, and I dunno what you’re made of mate; is it brains or is it bollocks?â€? But as usual Jim was unphased. Predictably, Vincent feared to bring back Jim and instead chose Natasha and Ellie, despite their heavy involvement in the TV commercial – the only good thing in Logic’s campaign.

The ending was somewhat of a surprise – a double firing. First Ellie, then later, a shocked Vincent. “I’m very surprised that Lord Sugar fired me. If I’d brought Jim in there, I wouldn’t be in this position now,â€? he said. Doubtful Vincent. Doubtful.